GRIEF......STAGE 4

Why am I posting the 7 stages of grief??  I thought maybe if I post about them it would help me through this.  Possibly helping someone else who is having trouble adjusting after the loss of a loved one.  It's not that I'm anexpert....but I have gone though them. 

4. Bargaining 
You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")

I skipped this one, why, because I knew there was no way of Thomas coming back to me.  And the truth be told, I didn't want him back, don't get me wrong I would have wanted him back, but not the way he was.  He was in so much pain at the time, I just wanted him to quit hurting.  I wanted him to let go so he wouldn't hurt anymore.  As I've said the man laying in the bed wasn't the Thomas I'll always remember.  That man was gone.  This is the Thomas I would want back.....being outside.......enjoying the spring day.