NOTHING DAY........

You ever have one of those days when

gets done......

The dishes and laundry are stacking up and about to topple off the counter and basket.  No Crocheting, Embroidery, or Quilting gets done.  Don't even get to read a book.  It's very frustrating when I have one of those days. 

It's like I lost a day out of my life.  Hopefully tomorrow will be.....

Hope you all......

MY GARDENS.......

need some work.  I was over visiting Canadian Needle Nana's place and she has her post linked up for the I Like....over at Not Afraid of Color.  So I decided to jump in and post about all my likes outside.  But the gardens you will see have been neglected the last few years.  With my hubby being sick and me trying to get back into the rhythm of living a new life without him, the gardens have gotten a little weedy.   The front porch area was really over run with Hosta plants, so I pulled out most of them and bought some new pots and flowers to freshen up the outside some.  Went shopping for some new pots for the front of the house.

 Got these pots at Lowe's along with the flowers.  It looks a little better, but I need one more for the right of the steps.  It  looks uneven to me.  I've got another flower bed to the right of the porch that needs some work done on it.

 I need to re-plant some flowers, move some out, and get the weeds out of it.  Not to mention take down all the clutter my hubby put there.  I think I'll leave the bed frame, I like that.  While I was taking these pictures one of the many squirrels, and I mean lots of them, that live here, came out to check me out.

You can't see him very well, he kind of blends in with the tree.  He's sitting to the left.  He watched me for a few minutes and then scampered off.  The other garden I need to work on is the stump garden.....yea you read it right, it's an old stump from a tree we cut down a few years ago. 

It's gotten over grown and needs some flowers taken out and some new put in.  Like the front garden, it has some clutter my hubby put there.  I can't get anything done with the gardens until it quits raining.  It seems to rain everyday.  We might get one sunny day out of seven.  Of course it rained early this morning so the grass was all wet. 

So I put on my polka dot boots before going out to shoot these pictures.  I really LIKE my polka dot boots.  They kind of clash with my dresses, but I don't care.  They keep me from falling on the ice in the winter and they are really warm.

No I don't have one sock on.  The right boot seems to like to "eat" my sock.  lol  Why is that, one shoe or boot always seems to do that.  It's one of life's mysteries I guess.  Well, I guess that's it for now.  Off to clean up the kitchen and do some laundry.  Have an awesome day!!

BOOKS AND CLEANING......

Went to the school Book Fair today.  It was buy 1 get 1 free day.  Got Bella and Bub some books

Bella's Books

Bub's Books

And of course I couldn't resist getting a couple for myself.

Have you got a junk room, you know one of those rooms that seems to collect everything no one wants, just stick it in the room and forget about it.  Well, we have one, I've been slowly making progress on getting it cleaned out.  Sorry don't have a before picture, but believe me, it was a mess.  There was just a pathway to get into the room.  I've been packing stuff up and sending it to our local Mission or throwing it in the trash.  I've finally gotten one side done.

Now for the other side of the room. 

I'm planning on making this a sewing room.  Shelves, tubs, and my sewing machine.  Also my Cutting Table.  Also maybe a sitting room on one side.  Haven't quite got it all worked out yet.  But I'm getting really excited to get it done.  Hope you have a Great Day!!

NEEDLEWORK.......

I've been doing a lot of embroidery lately.  I go to Google and type in what I want to see, then go to images...there are so many images to choose from.  I started with chickens

This is the first chicken I did, it's Jo Jo

This is Becky, she's in a cup....

And this is Abner, he's pecking at the flowers and bugs.

I'm also working on some flowers.....

This the one I'm working on now, reminds me of sunflowers.  I think I'm going to do the centers of the sunflowers in a stain stitch.  I have some wool thread that would look really nice.
Plus I've been working on my Blue Work....

The Red Work is done, when the Blue Work is done, I'll be combining them to make a quilt.

I am linking up with Heather over at Books and Quilts for Needlework Tuesday.  She has a couple beautiful quilts to show off, hop over and check them out.

GRIEF....STAGE 7.....

Stage 7
Acceptance 
 During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.

You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living.

I am in this stage now.  I am beginning to see the end of the tunnel.  Don't get me wrong, I still miss Thomas, I will always miss him.  I have accepted the situation of him being gone.  True, I have bad days and good days.  But mostly good days now.  An no, I'll never be the same as when Thomas was here, but I am finding a new me.  So if you have lost a loved one, just hold on, it will get better, I promise.    I leave you Thomas and me young, middle aged, and older aged.

Our Wedding Picture

Our 25th Anniversary Picture

 The last picture of us before Thomas got sick....

GRIEF......STAGE 6

Grief....Stage 6

Reconstruction
 As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

This stage was really hard for me.  I didn't want to do anything without first asking Thomas.  So what was I suppose to do?  I had to figure it out on my own.  After living 48 years with Thomas, I learned a few things from him.  But the one thing I'm having trouble with is how to save money.  Thomas could squirrel away money, but I just want to spend, spend, spend.  I have to learn not to spend so much money on "stuff".  But I don't have Thomas to ask for advice, so I'm learning on my own.  A few years before Thomas passed, he bought a new riding mower, our old just wore out.  He was so proud of that mower.  

 

BOOK REPORT......

The Cheyenne Bride - J. J. Devine

Product Description(Amazon.com)
Murder is afoot in the Wyoming territory, forcing Chris Davis to make a matrimonial match he never would have taken otherwise. Especially when his bride-to-be is still in love with the man he holds responsible for his parents' death. Torn between his morals and loyalty to his family, Chris Davis' heart betrays him at every turn. Nichole lied about her heritage. Could she also be lying about not being a part of his parents' death? He should just leave her to his enemy and be done with her, or kill them both. If only it were that simple. Nichole Michaels, known to the Cheyenne as White Deer, grew up hearing her mother spin tales of the visions of the man she would one day marry. Believing them to be nothing more than myth, imagine her surprise when she finds herself standing face to face with a vision come to life. She is torn between the past and a man whose love is certain, and a man whose love promised to be the strongest tie she has ever known, yet may never be able to claim. Chris needs her, but is that enough to make her deny her heritage for the rest of her life? Her heart aches to know the depth of the love claimed in her mother's visions. Is she strong enough to withstand a rancher with a heart of stone? 
Paperback: 266 pages 
Publisher: Soul Mate Publishing (August 14, 2013) 
Language: English 
ISBN-10: 161935280X 
ISBN-13: 978-1619352803

MY THOUGHTS:  If you like westerns, love stories, and murder mysteries.....this book has it all.  Chris is looking for a bride, Nichole is looking for her mother's vision man.  But there is one little problem.  Nichole is half Cheyenne, Chris's parents where killed by the Cheyenne.....maybe.  Both Nicole and Chris's parents where killed, but the circumstances is totally different.  Can they put this difference behind them and build a life together?  Can they find the actual people responsible for their parents deaths?  Really awesome book, loved it.  I give this book 5.....

This is the letter C for The Alphabet Soup Reading Challenge.

GRIEF.......STAGE 5

Stage 5.....Depression

Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.

During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

I haven't had any motivation to do anything that I used to do.  I haven't worked on a quilt since my husband passed.  I just haven't had the motivation to do that.  This is part of stage 5, Depression.  As I thought Depression was something else, I was really surprised that this is the same as Depression.  Sitting around the house, no desire to go anywhere, don't have the desire to clean my house.....the list goes on and on.  But it gets better, I have taken up embroidery again.  There is a little spark inside me that wants to work on a quilt, but it hasn't quite gotten out yet.    I leave you with Thomas doing his favorite thing......fishing.

GRIEF......STAGE 4

Why am I posting the 7 stages of grief??  I thought maybe if I post about them it would help me through this.  Possibly helping someone else who is having trouble adjusting after the loss of a loved one.  It's not that I'm anexpert....but I have gone though them. 

4. Bargaining 
You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")

I skipped this one, why, because I knew there was no way of Thomas coming back to me.  And the truth be told, I didn't want him back, don't get me wrong I would have wanted him back, but not the way he was.  He was in so much pain at the time, I just wanted him to quit hurting.  I wanted him to let go so he wouldn't hurt anymore.  As I've said the man laying in the bed wasn't the Thomas I'll always remember.  That man was gone.  This is the Thomas I would want back.....being outside.......enjoying the spring day.

 

GRIEF......STAGE 3

The 3rd stage of grief really surprised me when it happened.  I couldn't believe the feelings I had.

3. Anger
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.

I wasn't mad at someone for Thomas passing away.  I was mad at Thomas for leaving me.  We have been have so much trouble with the appliances breaking, the plumbing sucks, and the termites have eaten the floors.  So I got so mad at Thomas for leaving me here with all this "stuff" to take care of.  I know it's not his fault, but at the time I couldn't think of anyone else to blame.  It's really hard to figure it all out when Thomas took care of all this stuff.  Now I have to make the decisions and figure out where the money is coming from.  Thankfully my son helps me a lot.  Stage 4 is for tomorrow.  I leave you with our Wedding Picture.....

GRIEF........STAGE 2

The 7 stages of Grief are real.  I've been through several of them.

2. Pain and Guilt
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.

You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

I personally think this is the worst of the 7 stages.  The pain of losing my husband was excruciating, I kept telling myself he wasn't really gone, just sleeping....but that is so not right.....and then you have to face the fact you have to bury your loved one.  Then the guilt sits in....if i would have only prayed more.....or I loved him more....or I helped him more.....the questions keep going on and on of things I could of done to keep him longer.  But of course that wasn't possible.  You eventually get over this stage.....and walk right into stage 3.  Which I will be posting tomorrow.  

My hubby, Thomas, as the young man I fell in with......50 years ago.

 

GRIEF........STAGE 1

My husband of 48 years passed away June 18, 2016.  He had Colon Cancer.  He fought for 2 and a half years, but he didn't make it.  He went through the Chemo and Radiation.   He also has surgery to remove the tumor, but it didn't do any good.  He started a down hill slide and couldn't seem to pull out of it.  When you loose the one you lived and loved for 48 years, it feels like a piece of you went with them.  I have been fighting, trying to get on with my life, but I'm stuck.  So I went searching to some help on the internet.

WHAT ARE THE SEVEN SIGNS OF GRIEF.......

1. Shock and Denial....
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.

For me this lasted for a couple of months.  I couldn't quite believe everything you have to go through after a husband dies.   You have to change all the vehicles to your name....along with the car plates and insurance.  And don't forget you have to have the death certificate to prove all this.  The price of burying someone is exorbitant!!  It cost 15,000 plus dollars to bury my husband.  This was my way of working though the fact my husband had died.  It kept me busy getting everything arranged.  

I'll be posting one grief sign everyday this week.  Wondering about my hubby....this is Thomas....

this was taken a few years before he passed away.  I love him with all my heart and miss him so much.

BOOK REPORT.......

Winesburg, Ohio - Sherwood Anderson

Product Description(Amazon.com)
Winesburg, Ohio was inspired by Sherwood Anderson's early life experiences growing up in Ohio. This frank realistic portrayal of small town life brought the novel into the twentieth century. The influence of this book cannot be overstated. Writer's as diverse as Ray Bradbury, Amos Oz, and Henry Miller, and F. Scott Fitzgerald were deeply influenced by this American classic.

MY THOUGHTS:  This is my book club's choice for April.  I tried reading this book a few years ago and couldn't finish it.  My personal opinion......this is a boring book.  I did finish it, but can't say I really liked it.  There are some interesting characters in the book, but it seems to keep going on and on when it should have stopped sooner.  I give this book......2

This is for the letter W for The Alpha Bet Soup Reading Challenge.

BOOK REPORT.....

The High Mountains of Portugal - Yann Martel

Product Description(Amazon.com)
In Lisbon in 1904, a young man named Tomás discovers an old journal. It hints at the existence of an extraordinary artifact that—if he can find it—would redefine history. Traveling in one of Europe’s earliest automobiles, he sets out in search of this strange treasure.

Thirty-five years later, a Portuguese pathologist devoted to the murder mysteries of Agatha Christie finds himself at the center of a mystery of his own and drawn into the consequences of Tomás’s quest.

Fifty years on, a Canadian senator takes refuge in his ancestral village in northern Portugal, grieving the loss of his beloved wife. But he arrives with an unusual companion: a chimpanzee. And there the century-old quest will come to an unexpected conclusion.

MY THOUGHTS:  This was my book clubs choice for March.  Most of the gals at book club didn't really like this book.  But I loved it.  A great story spanning many years.  At first you wonder how are all these stories connected.  But they are connected, not only by the area but by the people.  I won't give any clues as to why they are connected.....I don't want to ruin it for you, if you read it.  If you like reading stories that span years, you will like this book.  I give this book 4.....

This is also for my Alphabet Soup Reading Challenge.  This is for the letter P.

BOOK REPORT..................

The Rosie Effect - Graeme Simsion

Product Description(Amazon.com)
Don sets about learning the protocols of becoming a father, but his unusual research style gets him into trouble with the law. Fortunately his best friend Gene is on hand to offer advice: he’s left Claudia and moved in with Don and Rosie.

MY THOUGHTS: This is book 2, the first book, The Rosie Project, was really good.  Check it out, just click on the link.  Don and Rosie are expecting their first baby, but as usual Don over does it.  His research leads him all over New York.  And it drives Rosie to brink of leaving Don and going back to Australia.  Really great book.  This is also my book for March at my book club.  We of course read The Rosie Project.  2 great books....check them out.   I give this book 4....

This book is also for my reading challenge......Alphabet Soup Reading Challenge.
This for the letter R..... 

IT'S BEEN AWHILE.....

since I posted anything but books.  So I thought I'd get back into the swing of things.  I'm joining Heather over at Books and Quilts for Needlework Tuesday.  Want to join in?  Just click on the link and you'll be there.  What is Needlework Tuesday? 

Needlework Tuesday is a regular weekly post where I share the progress of my various needlework projects over the past week. I enjoy the encouragement that I receive from my readers and in return visit their blogs and cheer them on with theirs.

I've been working on my Redwork blocks.  There are 8 blocks.  When done I'll be making a quilt out of them.  I've also got 8 more blocks I'm going to do in blue.

This is blocks 5, 6, 7, & 8.   As you can see block 7 is almost done. 

I've also finished my At The Beach Afghan. 

I've also embroidered a little chicken.  Don't know what I'm going to do with it yet, but I have some ideas rattling around in my head.  I'll update when I get it figured out.

Don't forget to hop over to Heather's place to check out Needlework Tuesday.